Frequently Asked Questions

You should become knowledgeable about the process and definitely not fight. A divorcing couple is a couple or family in crisis. People in crisis need help and information, not conflict. Do not listen to family and friends telling you that you need to “fight for your rights.” No one can take away your rights. You just need them explained to you. Find an attorney who you feel is solution based and doesn’t suggest fighting.

The problem with the traditional divorce system is that it is inherently adversarial in nature. The court system is designed for fighting. You have no control and you leave your issues to the fate of the Court. It is expensive with unlimited hourly fees, typically takes a long time and it’s in a public courtroom. When you enter the traditional system each person has an attorney fighting for them and each are charging by the hour with no limit on the fees. The more you fight, the more money it will cost. Fighting is not necessary because if you leave the decisions up to a judge (who is a stranger to you and your family) her decision will be based upon the law and what is in the best interest of the family. There is no winner or loser in a divorce. Your savings and hard earned money will go to your attorneys who fight for rights that you already have.

On the other hand, DTRW is private, you control the decision making, the attorney can offer creative solutions tailored to your family, it is a fixed cost divorce, a fraction of the cost of a traditional divorce and the process is much quicker. You also never have to go to court.

This is probably the most common question for divorcing couples that are not getting along, cannot communicate or communication leads to fighting. The only thing that you can do is suggest that fighting will not serve the family in that it will end up costing you significantly both financially and emotionally. Refer them to the DTRW website and tell them that there is an option where each of you will receive a separate attorney who acts as a legal consultant to help guide each of you individually through the process and will help negotiate the terms of your separation agreement.

If your spouse refuses to listen the next best thing you can do is to find an attorney who has a resolution-based mindset. In other words, find an attorney who is not suggesting you need to “fight for your rights,” but you feel can work with other attorneys toward directing the conflict to peaceful resolution. We can help you with that referral – call us.

Fighting and the emotional toll it puts on you and your family is the worst part of a divorce. Fighting costs an extraordinary amount of money. The financial and emotional debt has long lasting effects. It’s not worth it because the court will always do what is fair and reasonable regardless of how much you fight. There will be no winner. If there is no winner and the court will eventually do what is fair and reasonable, why fight?

The cheapest way to get a divorce is to do your own divorce. If you and your spouse are able to communicate and come to decisions regarding the marital estate you can get the forms and the “how to” at the judicial website (www.jud.ct.gov). You can also hire DTRW to do all the paperwork for you.

The next cheapest way is mediation. If you are unable to resolve issues with your spouse it is much cheaper to settle those disputes being guided by a knowledgeable family law attorney. Mediation is typically a fixed fee.

The most expensive divorce is using the traditional system of hiring separate attorneys. This way has unlimited fees.

It depends upon how complex your martial estate is and if you and your spouse can discuss things peacefully. If you choose the traditional divorce method of hiring individual attorneys each attorney will request an upfront retainer which could range from $2,500 to $20,000 or more. Each attorney will then bill against that retainer at their hourly rate which could range from $300/hour to $500/hour or more. If you Google the average cost of a traditional divorce in Connecticut it ranges from $5,000 to $34,000, but this depends upon several factors: having minor children, alimony issues, privately owned businesses and property division issues. The short answer is that the cost of a traditional divorce depends upon the issues involved, but is typically very expensive and has no limit.

In contrast, if you and your spouse can communicate and will listen to an experienced family law attorney a mediation can cost between $2,500 to $10,000 in total. The more complicated the marital estate the more money it will cost. A mediation is typically a fixed price. There are exceptions if more time is needed to work out issues.

Before you call an attorney understand that it is in their best interest if you and your spouse are fighting. Also understand that when you hire an attorney to go to court you are entering a battleground. Divorce court is inherently adversarial.

What you should be looking for is a resolution-based mindset. This means that when you are interviewing with an attorney you should feel comfortable with them and sense that they will try to direct you and your spouse, or your spouse’s attorney, toward settlement of the issues. In other words, if they are trying to sell you on “fighting for your rights” or sole custody of your children, be weary. Understand that you and your spouse have equal rights when it comes to dividing the marital estate and your children. Simply because you feel that you are the better parent or your spouse is “at fault”, does not mean that fighting in court with an expensive family law attorney will “win the case.” There is no winner in a divorce case. The only people who tend to profit from the fighting are the attorneys.